Comments on: bruised (but not broken)

by: K

Tue, 22 Jan 2008 20:10:52 +0000

Congratulations to you. Ending relationships is never easy. And I also agree with RSG. I too, was so fragmented. Unsure, insecure, and lost all at the same time. I also never ended my marriage the way I would have wanted it ended. And I carry a lot of guilt over that. Glad you are finally learning to be free. It’s all about the journey, right?

Take care,
~k

by: Lavah

Mon, 21 Jan 2008 04:38:50 +0000

I am so glad you are starting to breathe again.
That is your core.
Loving you and honoring you along this journey, ever so quietly.

by: kate

Mon, 21 Jan 2008 02:48:11 +0000

What recovering straight girl said.

xox

by: Ashley

Sun, 20 Jan 2008 23:03:22 +0000

Your writing is very distinctive my friend … beautiful and real. If I had stumbled across this blog by chance, I think I could have recognized your soulful, honest writing.

Self realization, risk, love, growth, loss … life without it, is life without breath. Your words have power and beauty Jen, and so do you. My heart aches for your struggles, but is filled with joy for your journey. There is no time in life to sit idle. Choices and moments are meant to be experienced and you are doing that … that is scary and empowering. Soak up these moments - good, bad, sad, blissful, challenging, rewarding. Take the lessons meant to be learned from them, then go to the next moment better than you were before. The risk of exposing truth, in my opinion, is always worth it. It’s good for the soul. Those who don’t agree - fuck ‘um.

by: Jan

Sun, 20 Jan 2008 04:08:45 +0000

all of the above!! every opportunity to love gives our heart a chance to stretch beyond its known borders. and every opportunity to lose breaks our heart in a way that allows light inside. You will love again. Your heart will lead you there when the time comes.

Hearts are limitless. Hearts bend more than break. When hearts feel broken, we are experiencing heart growth.

I grieved my first lesbian relationship (five years) for a year. Now I feel truly ready to love again — free of the past with a heart that wants to give all the love available.

Peace, Jan

by: Recovering Straight Girl

Sun, 20 Jan 2008 03:55:35 +0000

One of the things that I regret the most in my own story, is that I didn’t take care of ending my marriage completely, and finding out about myself before making my life so much more difficult and complicated by involving someone else.

I was SO fragmented in so many ways. My “coming out” relationship made me more fragmented, more shattered, and much more unstable. Unfortunately the three people that suffered the most through all of that were my daughters. My regret for that runs the deepest.

You have plenty of time for amazing relationships and you will, in good time. Give yourself a moment to tie up your loose ends, and get on your own two feet. You’ll be glad you did.

by: MLC Mid-Life Clarity

Sat, 19 Jan 2008 21:23:31 +0000

Oh I am sorry Jen but we are broken open (or at least bruised) through and as a result of our passions. We grow the most in our relationships to other people. You loved but it was not a healthy situation for you.

I’d like to say we get wiser as we get older (and we do) and we also still do silly things chasing after passions…or at least I do (and have).

But this day arrives in our lives when we realize being happy is something we are (not a series of things that happen to us). And love is a verb something we choose to do and not something we fall into or are swept off our feet by.

…at least I hope that’s true. In the meantime sit with your feelings, go all the way through to the other side.

With Compassion-
MLC

by: Linda

Sat, 19 Jan 2008 15:17:50 +0000

Whenever our lives change in some blistering, blinding way, we want “the thing”, the event or person or realization to last, to be the new place we come from now. Sometimes, it does last. The catalyst for change can evolve into a new way of life, carrying with and containing elements of that first, blinding knowledge. But most often, it does not. “The thing” happens, and we get caught up in it, and many of us are NOT wise enough to realize when it does become unhealthy, and we don’t get out just a bit bruised, but stay too long and get broken. Your “thing” had a real, true purpose. It woke you up. I firmly believe it is better to be bruised and awake than to be “comfortable” but asleep. I don’t know you, so feel it’s really not appropriate to give advice, but I would just say, as you can put arnica on a physical bruise, take a little arnica for your soul. Await. Allow. Aceept. Attend. A very wise friend gave me those words about 10 years ago, and they have served me well ever since. I share them with you now.
Many blessings on your path.

Linda (aka Grumpy Granny)