questions?
I’ve been sitting here tonight, thinking about my writing and my quest for honesty. I realized that as raw as I am striving to be, there is still a filter on my writing here. The filter I am talking about is one of personal choice. I am choosing what I write about, what details to reveal and how deep to go.
I know for a fact that there are topics I am purposely or subconsciously passing by because they are not as easy to write about as others. Maybe they involve things I don’t want to think about, or they are a little embarrassing, maybe they have not even occurred to me yet. Fact is, as long as I’m the only one who controls what I delve into with my writing, there are depths that I will not examine.
[Also, I realize that many of you, especially those of you who know and care about me, may have questions or things you are curious about, but are just too polite to ask.]
So, on that note, I’m going to let you all decide what I should write about. Ask me questions. Ask me anything, don’t hold back. I can’t absolutely promise I’ll be brave enough to answer them all right away – but I vow I will try.
Have you come out to your parents? How old are your children and have you come out to them yet?
I’m just asking because, I’m 33, just recently realized I may be lesbian, I have yet to tell my Mom or my 12 yr. old daughter. Would love to know how you handled it, if you did.
PS- I love you blog, I love your writings, feels good to know I’m not alone with the feelings I have.
Comment by Jessica — December 30, 2007 @ 6:45 pm
I’m just curious - wondering if you might shed some information on your eductional background/career - you’re obviously highly intelligent.
Thank you for your candor and honesty - I find if inspirational. I’m currently struggling to come to terms with my being a lesbian - even now that word makes me cringe. I too want to leave everything behind - not to disappoint anyone, to begin a life - that I no longer have a choice in denying - life feeling empty, depressing and bleak.
Wishing you all the best for the future. Thank you again.
Comment by Lesley — December 30, 2007 @ 8:14 pm
I don’t so much have a question, as just a comment. I’ve lurked around on your blog for a little while now (I think it was linked from TLL), but I absolutely love your honesty. I see so much of what my life may have been like in your writing if not for the realizations that have happened in the last several years. Thank you for sharing so much. I wish you nothing but the best in the new year!
Comment by Sant — December 31, 2007 @ 12:20 am
I am astounded (in a good way) at how you are laying yourself out here, J. I’ve wanted to ask you questions, but didn’t want to push you … there’s enough going on in your life without people like me needling you, you know?
So, yes, I’ve also wondered who in your family you have told yet (I’m assuming you haven’t told your parents yet, as you mentioned in a recent post that your Mom reads your other blog and so there aren’t any links between this one and that one.) And I have especially wondered about the girls — how they are doing, what you have told them, how you have explained things to them (for example … now that you are not sleeping in the same room) and how they have reacted to it all. This one is so very personal, I know, and I understand if you’re not ready to talk about it yet.
Thank you for giving those of us who know you the chance to ask these kinds of questions. Sometimes it’s hard to know what’s ok to ask or say and I for one don’t want to push you while you’re going through so much already. I truly appreciate it, even if you can’t answer them yet.
Comment by Rebekah — December 31, 2007 @ 7:18 pm
Jen, I can appreciate that it’s cathartic to write about your feelings and the experiences you are going through. I’ve kept a diary for years and still find it a relief to pour myself into the page.
What I’d like to know is what inspired you to make your personal writing public? It’s a very courageous thing to do, laying yourself bare to an anonymous audience.
PS. I’ve tussled alone and in silence with my own sexuality for years and I’ve found your posts extremely comforting. Thank you.
Comment by Eshne — January 1, 2008 @ 7:39 pm
I worry about your legal status. What are you doing regarding your residence? Aren’t you kind of at the mercy of S right now? What if he stops feeling merciful? I mean, he is a saint, but even a saint can get really angry.
Comment by Anna — January 7, 2008 @ 3:18 am
1. How is it different being attracted to a woman? Are the qualities you look for in your partner any different from what you would seek in a man?
2. Often I have heard in a homosexual couple, there will still be one that is somewhat “feminine” and the other somewhat more “masculine”; will you call this an accurate observation?
3. Is “partner” a right term to use? I have heard people use the terms: lover, my wife, significant other. How do you feel about such terms? Does it even matter?
Comment by janis — January 9, 2008 @ 5:31 pm
OK, my question is, Are you watching Oprah right now?! Wed Jan 9. I haven’t commented here yet (til now) but very briefly must say I can HEAR in your (written) voice, a new you, the true you, and it is striking and beautiful. love jess
Comment by Jess — January 10, 2008 @ 12:24 am
I’d like to know who you have and haven’t told and what their reactions were — but I’d also like to know about this girl you mention, how you met, if she’s the one who ’showed’ you you were gay, etc. I’ve only been reading your writing for a short time so I may have missed that post.
Also, what about some of your earlier experiences? (Road signs you missed along the way, etc.?
) Those are certainly popping up more and more for me these days.
Comment by Athena — January 10, 2008 @ 4:06 pm
No questions here, I think all of those above will result in some amazing posts. Just stopping by to say hi. Looking forward to reading your responses. Take care.
Comment by ~k — January 11, 2008 @ 5:36 pm
Thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment. You are BRAVE to invite the questions, I look forward to reading what your heart chooses to answer!
Comment by Carla — January 15, 2008 @ 5:27 am
Lesley, it took me six months of loving a woman for the first time to accept and be comfortable calling myself a lesbian. But that is not the only term and it is not comfortable for many of us. Try on other terms and see what you resonate with: dyke, queer, gay, etc. Maybe you need a new word! It’s your truth, your journey. (this goes for you too, Jen)
Comment by Jan — January 20, 2008 @ 4:17 am