and I came across a slice of wisdom that said
‘you were never not going to be here’
and it was right
this was as inevitable as the tides
as the shift of seasons
as the cycle of life and death

my whole life I have been spiraling
toward this point
and I no more had a choice about reaching this
than I did about being born into this body
or craving the taste of dark chocolate melting liquid on my tongue
or having azure eyes that see more
than I can ever comprehend.

it seems so clear now.
i wonder how I didn’t always know.
but of course I always knew.
didn’t I?

i knew it somewhere
in my deepest depths
and hidden thoughts
and ignored dreams.

i knew that I would belong here
in the arms of a woman
softness against softness
nestled curve against curve
warmth against warmth
breath against breath
flowing endlessly together into the long, long night.

Yes.
it was as inevitable as night following day
as letters forming words
as the rising of the sun.
as the heady free fall of love
as the force of change itself

it was as if the universe exhaled and things slid into place
like the mechanism inside a lock when you find the right key.
and the way my muscles feel after a long massage
when the ache subsides and my body relaxes
and fills up it’s rightful space
and says yes
oh yes.
this is how I am meant to feel, to move, to exist.
this is how I am meant to be.
without tension or pretense or that nagging feeling that I should be someplace else.
or someone else.

just here.
just now.
just this.

yes.
it was inevitable.
i was never not going to be here.