live your life
Live your life.
I was at the mall yesterday and saw this bracelet, there was just one left on the rack and it caught my eye right away.
“Live Your Life…” it said, and its message whispered and shouted and sang to me until I bought the bracelet.
Live Your Life. Good advice, that. That’s what I’ve been trying to do – to live this life with as much truth, authenticity, respect and joy as humanly possible. Like all the best pieces of wisdom, the beauty of this message lies in it’s simplicity. But, sometimes the most simple things are also almost hopelessly multi-layered.
Living a life in isolation might just be easy, but what if that life is entangled with other lives? What if every choice that is made has profound effects on the hearts and minds and future of those others? What then?
This is, first and foremost, my journey. But our journeys are never just about us, every action we take has direct and indirect effects on those who share our lives. Every choice made has repercussions, and sometimes it is the hidden and unexpected depths of those repercussions that matter the most.
I sometimes wonder; what would this journey look like if I were single? If I did not have two young children? If I did not feel love for my husband in every breath I take? If I was not conscious of the weight of responsibility on my shoulders every second of the day? Would it be easier? Would it still be hard, but just for different reasons that I cannot possibly imagine right now?
I feel an immense amount of responsibility. Every choice I make on this path feels weighted - nothing is irrelevant. And yet I know now, more than ever, that sometimes I’ve just got to trust my instincts, to go with my gut. To do the one thing that feels so very wrong, and yet so very right at the same time. Because when I do that, when I trust, step into the moment and just let go – it is in those moments that I feel my spirit begin to sing.
As always, when I reach a crossroads in my life – I find myself drawn to music. The lyrics and melodies that cross my path through delicious serendipity often provide me with glimpses of sweet clarity in the midst of what sometimes feels like utter and complete confusion. The simple wisdom of the Indigo Girls song “Watershed” has provided me comfort countless times over the years, and I found myself seeking it out again over the past few weeks.
You can stand there and agonize
Till your agony’s your heaviest load.
You’ll never fly as the crow flies, get used to a country mile.
When you’re learning to face the path at your pace
Every choice is worth your while.”
Live Your Life….
Yes. That is exactly what I am doing, the very best way I know how.
I hope it’s enough.
I love the indigo girls too, as well as the sentiment. And I know what you mean about music during times of either great struggle, healing or transformation - music unlocks something, gives some sort of permission or witness. It allows me to swim in it, and reach the other side.
Comment by kate — October 30, 2007 @ 8:10 am
I’m quite honoured as I sit here at 5 in the morning, reading your new blog, that you would share with me. I had inklings, dropped hints, whispers moving through space.
And as always, I’m here, will always be. I’m not moving. With the birth of my son with you there, we will always be intrinsicly linked, my dear friend. As that event spawned the start of one of your life’s passions, it is with love that I am at the start of another of your life’s passions.
It is my pleasure to be here with you.
Comment by Laura — November 1, 2007 @ 12:00 pm
I cannot imagine the weight that comes off of you from truly realizing who you are. At the same time I can’t imagine the added weight from coming to that realization. Your husband sounds like an amazing person. You have terrific friends. And I look forward to following where your life will take you from here.
Comment by Jenn — November 1, 2007 @ 4:49 pm
Wow, so well said. And lovely photo too. That’s the kinds of photos I want on my blog…if I only have that kind of talent…
Someone once said to me that you should seek out the person that God believes you to be, the name he has for you - and then be THAT person - don’t allow anyone else to “name” you.
It sounds weird, maybe…but its been so helpful to me.
catherine
Comment by Catherine — November 3, 2007 @ 4:11 am
Living your life to the best of your ability is always enough … so many do not bother and waste their lives away…
Comment by NerdGirl — January 3, 2008 @ 5:02 am
Wow, my “decision” blog was named after “Watershed,” for many of the same reasons. This is getting uncanny…
Comment by clare — May 6, 2008 @ 11:38 pm