Comments on: Impossible not to love him.2 http://awakenings.blogsome.com/2007/10/25/impossible-not-to-love-him2/ navigating the spaces between in and out Mon, 28 Dec 2009 05:41:01 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=1.5.1-alpha by: NerdGirl http://awakenings.blogsome.com/2007/10/25/impossible-not-to-love-him2/#comment-69 Thu, 03 Jan 2008 05:03:30 +0000 http://awakenings.blogsome.com/2007/10/25/impossible-not-to-love-him2/#comment-69 He sounds like a gem! Lucky you! He sounds like a gem! Lucky you!

]]> by: darkdaughta http://awakenings.blogsome.com/2007/10/25/impossible-not-to-love-him2/#comment-52 Fri, 21 Dec 2007 18:37:30 +0000 http://awakenings.blogsome.com/2007/10/25/impossible-not-to-love-him2/#comment-52 Hi, Thanks for the invitation. I'm reading. I'm formulating something and not quite sure how to ask. You know I just barrel right into things, right? :) So, this is what I'm wondering... It sounds as if you're prepping to leave him/divorce him/live in another abode/occupy another life away from him...and I'm wondering why? From everything you're describing, he's a good partner, he's communicative, he parents well, he loves you and you love him. sigh... I just think you have more options. Of course, I'm still reading and this is my first layer. But have you read much about poly? Thinking about all the imposed binaries in our world and about the assumption that relationships be monogamous and that marriages not make space for partners to pursue other facets of themselves... That's so strangling. It's so...unappealing and sad. I think of all the people who have left their perfectly good relationships because they realized they were GROWING and weren't the same people they were when they came into the relationship. We're not taught that there's room for renegotiation. We're not taught that we're supposed to grow and change with time. We're not taught that it's okay for partners to make space for growth, for them to struggle through, to feel through growth and change with us. I've been hoping for years that Papi would just come out and admit he'd like to at least explore having relationships with other men. That's one of my fervent prayers. He knows this, knows he has that space. This isn't a happy clappy hallmark sort of dream. He might meet the fatal attraction drag lady, for all I know. But I'm just saying that I think his growth into more of who he is would be worth at least trying. Even from this post, your male partner sounds as if he's making space for change. I haven't read enough to know whether he's pissed, or insecure or jealous or scared. These are all real emotions that are understandable. It's just that you sound sad about saying goodbye to him. And I just keep thinking who says you have to say goodbye to him? Who says this isn't another fork in the road of your relationship? Why not? That's my first layer. Hope that offers something useful. Hi,
Thanks for the invitation. I’m reading. I’m formulating something and not quite sure how to ask. You know I just barrel right into things, right? :)

So, this is what I’m wondering…
It sounds as if you’re prepping to leave him/divorce him/live in another abode/occupy another life away from him…and I’m wondering why?

From everything you’re describing, he’s a good partner, he’s communicative, he parents well, he loves you and you love him.

sigh…
I just think you have more options. Of course, I’m still reading and this is my first layer. But have you read much about poly?

Thinking about all the imposed binaries in our world and about the assumption that relationships be monogamous and that marriages not make space for partners to pursue other facets of themselves…

That’s so strangling. It’s so…unappealing and sad. I think of all the people who have left their perfectly good relationships because they realized they were GROWING and weren’t the same people they were when they came into the relationship.

We’re not taught that there’s room for renegotiation. We’re not taught that we’re supposed to grow and change with time. We’re not taught that it’s okay for partners to make space for growth, for them to struggle through, to feel through growth and change with us.

I’ve been hoping for years that Papi would just come out and admit he’d like to at least explore having relationships with other men. That’s one of my fervent prayers.

He knows this, knows he has that space.

This isn’t a happy clappy hallmark sort of dream. He might meet the fatal attraction drag lady, for all I know. But I’m just saying that I think his growth into more of who he is would be worth at least trying.

Even from this post, your male partner sounds as if he’s making space for change. I haven’t read enough to know whether he’s pissed, or insecure or jealous or scared.

These are all real emotions that are understandable. It’s just that you sound sad about saying goodbye to him.

And I just keep thinking who says you have to say goodbye to him? Who says this isn’t another fork in the road of your relationship? Why not?

That’s my first layer. Hope that offers something useful.

]]> by: Heather http://awakenings.blogsome.com/2007/10/25/impossible-not-to-love-him2/#comment-17 Thu, 01 Nov 2007 14:14:58 +0000 http://awakenings.blogsome.com/2007/10/25/impossible-not-to-love-him2/#comment-17 You are an amazing woman loved by many. Embrace all the love and support everyone including s offer. You are an amazing woman loved by many. Embrace all the love and support everyone including s offer.

]]> by: mb http://awakenings.blogsome.com/2007/10/25/impossible-not-to-love-him2/#comment-12 Sun, 28 Oct 2007 05:44:36 +0000 http://awakenings.blogsome.com/2007/10/25/impossible-not-to-love-him2/#comment-12 kisses, hugs and unshakable support. i know this is not easy, but i also see that you have cracked a shell, we all change like butterflies, if we allow it to happen. i miss you we landed. more soon. m kisses, hugs and unshakable support.

i know this is not easy, but i also see that you have cracked a shell, we all change like butterflies, if we allow it to happen.

i miss you
we landed.
more soon.
m

]]> by: Kristina http://awakenings.blogsome.com/2007/10/25/impossible-not-to-love-him2/#comment-9 Thu, 25 Oct 2007 06:23:22 +0100 http://awakenings.blogsome.com/2007/10/25/impossible-not-to-love-him2/#comment-9 I'm so jealous. ;) My husband would have no end of comments if I went to an event like that, brought our kids, purchased rainbow gear, and gave it to the kids. Read each of those individually, because each thing would just compound the thing before it. LOL This man loves you, which makes it so much safer for you to figure things out. Lucky you! I’m so jealous. ;) My husband would have no end of comments if I went to an event like that, brought our kids, purchased rainbow gear, and gave it to the kids. Read each of those individually, because each thing would just compound the thing before it. LOL

This man loves you, which makes it so much safer for you to figure things out. Lucky you!

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